Fatphobia and a Global Pandemic

How many weeks has it been since the world came screeching to a halt and we all sequestered ourselves at home to save the world? 40 days? Who’s counting? 

Through all of the anxiety and collective trauma of a global pandemic- one thing remains clear- people are more terrified of becoming fat than dying. 

How quickly did folx begin to use the pandemic as a tool to tout fatphobia through pushes to use this time to lose weight or diet. Others used the global trauma where lives are being lost to suggest that your diet can protect you from contracting COVID-19 (it can’t.). 

Choosing to participate in a push-up challenge with your friends, dieting, counting calories, or downloading weight loss apps is your prerogative, but I ask those who are-- why? We have been sold a bald-faced lie that diet will save us from death. The biggest lie we’ve been told is that folx in larger bodies die sooner than those in thinner bodies. Research indicates, though, that those in higher BMI categories live longer than those in the “normal” weight range. (Huge quotes around normal because that is a totally made-up notion). What kills folx in larger bodies? Fatphobia. 

As we sit in our homes, were sitting with things we may not have unpacked yet within us. I have so much empathy for folx that are continuing to diet or use exercise to punish or harm themselves. Diets suck, they don’t work, and counting calories is boring. Exercise is wonderful when done joyfully and from a place of love, not punishment. I can feel wholeheartedly how the stress and trauma of quarantine, job-loss, empty shelves at the grocery store would cause one’s disordered eating or eating disorder to rear its head. What I have so much anger towards is folx using this time as a platform for fatphobia- whether it’s veiled through “funny” *not* funny memes about gaining weight during a quarantine, or it’s through the promotion and sale of products that are the diet culture equivalent of snake oil. 

During this time, I ask you to invite more gentleness with yourself and your body. Allow it to change during this time because your body is doing all it can to protect you. And that protection may be food. That’s okay. I also ask that you check-in with how you may be harming fat folx in your community. That meme that you shared with the fat joke may be harmless to you, but it is a dagger to those who’s body you’re making the butt of the joke. Ask yourself what purpose sharing your workout on social media serves. Would your workout mean the same if it was for you alone? Does sharing that workout alienate fat folx in your life? 

We are already participating in beautiful altruism during this time by staying home and wearing masks for vulnerable folx we may never meet. Participate in altruism by ending your personal promotion of fatphobia.

Finding Anti-Diet Community

Seeing yourself in others is imperative to breaking free from diet-culture.

In the iconic, girl-culture clique comedy Mean Girls, the act of solidarity in body hatred and connection through oppression is clearly portrayed when the girl gang and new girl Kady stand by the mirror poking and prodding at their “less than perfect” form. The teens one-by-one remark on a body part they hate. When it’s new-girl Kady’s turn, she pauses- perhaps without a fault to dole out- and she reluctantly remarks that her breath stinks in the morning. The other teens sigh in relief, as if to say, “whew, she is one of us.”.

It is in the vernacular of all womxn to have language around what body parts they loathe, what diet they’re currently trying and how best to hide their fruit-labeled body shapes behind the “right”silhouette. (this is utter bullshit- where the horizontal stripes!) And when one finally drops the self-hate, the tedious time it takes to body-check, self-scrutinize, weigh out grains of rice on the food scale, it’s hard to find a group of friends where these actions aren’t part of the bonding experience. 

This isn’t to say that all womxn everywhere only spend time together scrutinizing themselves. But, it does happen, ever so subtly in our everyday interactions with others. How we discuss what we ate over the weekend, “were you ‘good’ this weekend?” as if our food choices could damn us to an eternity in Hell. Or how we debate over what diets or “lifestyle changes” (EYE ROLL) are best, swapping tips, tricks and cauliflower-rice recipes. The subtle language of diet-culture is integrally woven in how womxn interact. And when one finally decides to leave Diet Land behind, where do they go for support and understanding? 

Part of my process for finding solace and safety outside of diet culture was sussing out who actually was safe. If a friend is posting before and after pictures, selfies at the gym, “healthy” recipes with some remark on how “good” they are being, I know this person is not someone I go to when I’m feeling the ever-crushing weight of diet-culture. Part of working through eating disorder or disordered eating recovery is about creating safety in relationships that will support your recovery, not subtly undermine it with diet talk or veiled fatphobia. This may be a mourning process and may mean holding some relationships a bit farther away while in recovery. 

Finding community is so important when you’re recovering from the life-long diet culture hangover. For me, this has been long hikes with other anti-diet folks, and  talk over pancakes about demoralizing food. If you are failing to find someone in your current circle that can hold space for you to do this work, looking to a fat-positive, anti-diet community may be helpful. Joining the Austin Fatties book club can surround you with fat-positive babes that commit to reading work by other fat-positive people. Or joining the All Bodies Hikes I facilitate monthly. These hikes are a diet talk-free space, where folx of all abilities can enjoy nature and create community. If you’re outside of the Austin area, there may be a community for you. Seeing yourself and your story in others is imperative to breaking free from diet-culture. Or be a badass and create that community! I set out to create the All Bodies Hikes because I felt Austin was sorely lacking in spaces that felt undoubtedly safe for fat folx. 

Humans crave connection and acceptance. Our culture upholds patriarchal beliefs that womxn should constantly be minimizing themselves, striving to never be “too much”. But we are not beholden to the faults of those who came before us. You can live free from diet bullshit and you don’t have to do it alone. And if you can’t find a fat-positive badass community, come join mine- it’s pretty great over here. 

Fighting back against Health and Wellness Culture

In the words of my favorite weight-inclusive coach Shohreh Davoodi (look her up, she is amazing), “Health and wellness are not moral obligations”. Read that again and let it sink in. Health and wellness are not synonymous with goodness. You are not a better person because you are more fit, well, or healthy than the person next to you.

Unfortunately, today “wellness” and “health” are just *very* thinly veiled fat-phobia. The wellness industry in Austin in particular is huge. Establishments carry juice cleanses and restrictive meal plans; all manner of gyms and studios live on virtually every corner of the city. And yet, 1 in every 4 households in Austin report feeling food insecure. And Texas ranks 7 in top states with the highest amount of food deserts.

So, in a city that boasts being the 14th fittest city in the U.S, we are leaving a lot of folx behind in terms of health, while maintaining the belief that health and wellness are the standard, and falling short of that mark makes you “less than”.  

The folx being criticized for their “poor food choices” or “unhealthy behaviors” are often people of color, marginalized folx, people living with disabilities and the LGBTQ+ community. You cannot talk about the health and wellness industry without talking about its classist and racist roots.

The truth of it is, health is not determined largely by health behaviors. Eating a well-rounded, intuitive diet (without restriction, or food rules), and exercising joyfully influences self-care and health but social differences account for most health differences. Working a high-stress job, long hours, lack of access to a variety of foods, lack of access to good medical care, and genes all play a larger role than people give credit for.

This is all to say you cannot determine someone’s health by the size of their body. I will be screaming that to the heavens until I die. You cannot tell if someone is healthy by how they look, and you have no idea of their health behaviors by the size of their body. And guess what- if someone is not living up to an individual definition of “health” that’s okay. Everyone has a different definition of what health and wellness looks like for them. Just because it doesn’t align with yours does not mean they are less worthy of respect or kindness.

These thoughts all come from an uncomfortable conversation I was roped into recently. Someone asked me if I felt a certain celebrity (who is in a larger body) was a bad role model for “promoting obesity”.

Whoa. I had to remind myself to breath for a moment because my voice caught in my throat. I am unsure why I, in that moment became a spokesperson for what is deemed “good” and “bad” role modeling for fat folx, but I did. And it’s important to note here that I live in a straight-sized body. Meaning, while larger, I can shop in just about any store and my accessibility is not generally affected daily. This celebrity on the other hand, lives in a larger body than mine, is more marginalized and her access in the world is more limited. It isn’t fair that I was asked to weigh in. But I was. So, I did.

What I made clear to my thin friends asking this outrageous question was that we would not be asking this question if the celebrity was participating in the same “unhealthy” behaviors and was thin. Plain and simple this was fat phobia rearing its ugly head. The comment that followed was, “but she’s obese! That’s not okay!”. Whew! Slow down, honey! I can only fume for so long before I blow up. I took another deep breath and launched into my tried-and-true “BMI and the ‘obesity epidemic’ are false and drenched in fat phobia”. BMI has been proven to be an ineffective measure of health and weight. You can read up on that elsewhere and I will definitely be back to address that.

And again, whether someone is living a lifestyle you deem “unhealthy”, it is none of your business. I also talked about different factors that affect health, like I mentioned earlier. And I tried to stress that we would not be discussing this person’s health behaviors if they were thin. Also, newsflash! People in the BMI “overweight” category also have longer life expectancies than those in the “normal” weight. Tell me again how weight is the only determinant of health?

This conversation was very uncomfortable for me. It was frustrating. And I don’t know if I changed minds but I am grateful for the opportunity to spark a little dissent in the conversation and hopefully they will think a bit harder when these fat phobic thoughts come up for them. And maybe not.

Unfortunately, we cannot change the world in a day. And we cannot show everyone the error of their fat phobic, diet culture, thin-privilege ways. What we do have control over is how we educate ourselves and how we call out this kind of sh** when we see it. Be mindful of yourself, and your needs, and if these conversations come up for you and they are too triggering, know you are allowed to walk away and take care of yourself.

Health and wellness culture are probably here to stay for a hot minute, but through feminist, soul-shaking work, we can scream into the void and attempt to break through the noise.

If you want more information on how to shake up diet culture, change your relationship with yourself and your body, let’s connect!