Finding the right therapist

For most folks, finding a therapist is the hardest and most daunting part of therapy. Unfortunately, the hardest work should be done in session and instead it’s done scouring the internet for someone that looks like the right fit.

How do you find a therapist that feels right for you? How do you find someone that you can be comfortable enough with to let your guard down and really work on some tough sh**?

For most, they start at a large, online directory like Psychology Today or Therapy Den. Here, you can search for clients in your zip code, based on their area of specialty, or by insurance. But, when you finally find one that looks right, and you finally get someone to email you back or answer your call (why is it so hard to get a call back? More on that in a moment), what’s next?

From someone who’s been on both sides of the couch, I can tell you the first meeting is the most important and it can feel like a match made in heaven or send you running. Trust your gut- if it feels good, go for it! If you’re not 100% sure if this person is right for you, know that it is ok to shop around. Most therapists will offer you a free, 30-minute consultation. And they should! This is as much in the benefit for the client as it is the therapist. The consultation gets both parties to take each other in and make sure it feels like a good fit all around.

“Finding a therapist shouldn’t be harder than the therapy itself.”

What are some things you should ask at your consultation? This is totally up to you, but a few good questions (that I have answered and am happy to, time and again) would be to ask about how the therapist sees client issues, what “lens” they view client concerns from. Asking if your future therapist participates in their own therapy is a valid question and can suss out a therapist who may not be actively doing their own work (that’s a red flag if they aren’t!). Questions about fee, sliding scale fee options, if the therapist prefers weekly or bi-weekly sessions are all great questions for you to gauge if you’re ready for the time and financial commitment of therapy.

Take note of the space, as well. Take in your surroundings, the art, test out the couch for optimal comfiness. Your physical comfort in the room is important! If your body is unable to relax, then you won’t be able to access the emotional and mental energy to be vulnerable with your therapist. I have been to therapists before who have blank walls and I personally need some art to stare at while I bare my soul!

For those who’ve called a potential therapist or emailed to no avail- I am so sorry. I hear from so many people that it can be a battle just to get someone to answer your call for services. Just know that your hard work and struggle to find someone who will be perfect for you is worthwhile when you finally find your “person”. Having a therapist that you look forward to see, who greets you with joy and excitement, and who makes you feel seen is the best gift and investment you can give yourself.

I love matching folks with the perfect therapist for them, even if that isn’t me! If you want to learn more about working with me, or need help navigating the minefield of finding your own therapist, let’s connect!