So, you’ve found the right therapist. You’ve made it to session. You’re working through your sh**.
How do you get the most out of therapy, once you’re there?
First off, make sure the therapist you choose is perfect for you. Check out my previous post on how to find the right therapist for you if that is still alluding you.
Once you feel comfortable with your therapist, take time to notice what’s been working for you and what hasn’t. This can take a few sessions to tease out. Maybe you’re needing more feedback or engagement from your therapist. Or you would love a book recommendation or homework. Remember, therapy is a collaborative relationship. Most therapists let their client take the lead on what to talk about each week, and some therapists won’t give homework or book recommendations unless you voice an interest. It’s okay- and recommended! – to ask your therapist for more.
Another way to get the most out of your time with your therapist is to schedule your sessions at a good time for you. Don’t be afraid to ask your therapist for a time that better suits your schedule. Maybe you want to start your week with a session, or you get more out of your work together in the afternoon and not at 8 am. Sometimes, schedules are hectic and you have to book an appointment at a time that isn’t great for you. In that case, make the most out of it by making sure your physical needs- like hunger- are taken care of. If you’re focused on a grumbly tummy, you may not get the most out of the session.
This one may seem obvious to some, but to get the most out of the work, say whatever you want. Don’t be fearful of judgment, or fear that something is “off-topic” or “out of bounds”. It’s very possible that what you’re afraid to say is something your therapist has heard before. Not a lot scares us… no, really.
And don’t worry about rambling. It’s our job to stop you, make connections and ask the right questions. Just come in, make yourself comfortable, and spill the beans.
Talk about therapy in therapy. Tell your therapist when they’ve pissed you off. Or when you don’t want to be there. Or how therapy is feeling for you right now. These are all great ways to start a conversation about what is working for you and what isn’t.
Set goals for yourself. When you start your therapeutic relationship, your therapist will most likely ask you if you have any goals you’d like to reach while in therapy. Reflect on goals you wish to reach in therapy, and if they change, let your therapist know. Goals can be short and attainable, or big and lofty. If it’s important to you, there is room for it.
Make sure you’re doing the work outside of the therapy room. Your session is only 50 minutes and makes up a teeny, tiny bit of your week. Some work during the week can make a huge difference in the progress you’ll see. This doesn’t have to feel like homework, either. This may be journaling throughout the week on thoughts or feelings you have on what came up that week. It may simply be reflecting on the drive home on what you learned, and looking out for themes throughout the week. Check-in with yourself between sessions on how you’re feeling, what you’re needing, and thoughts you’re having around the therapeutic work you’re doing.
Remember, too that therapy is hard work. Chances are, you’re digging into some heavy stuff each week and that takes a toll on your emotions and your body. Take care of yourself between sessions. Especially at the beginning of therapy, things can feel worse before they get better. That’s because you and your therapist are taking a deep dive through stuff you don’t reflect on daily. And that emotional labor can drain you. So, make sure you’re prioritizing self-care while undertaking therapy. Tune-in to your needs.
Last, but not least, give yourself credit. Therapy is an amazing process that transforms. Give yourself the credit you deserve for doing the hard work and making progress. Remember, your therapist isn’t the only one working. You are busting your butt to uncover and reprocess difficult stuff. That should not go unnoticed. Bravo to you for putting your needs first and seeking out help.
If you’re interested in working with me, or would like help finding a therapist that is perfect for you, let’s connect!